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Friday, 22 July 2016

A Reminder

I am depressed. I am anxious. I am suicidal.
But.
I am also my favourite gemstone. I am the corners of book pages that I fold down to mark my place. I am an Eeveelution trainer, a Slytherin, the Mayor of Hogwarts. I am my favourite Lush bath bomb. I am the chipped nail polish on my fingernails that I can never be bothered to remove. I am a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend. A cat mother. A cat lover. I am the Pokemon cards organised by type and level of cuteness in my ring binder. I am the gluten-free vanilla cookies that I’ve grown obsessed with. I am a lover of vlogs, blogs and Pinterest. I am my favourite episode of Sherlock, my favourite region in Pokemon. I am the sea shell wind-chime that hangs above my bed. I am each of the teddies that Luke has won me from claw machines across the years. I am the bicycle rides that fill me with undiluted happiness. I am the Costa smoothie that’s been on my to-try list forever. I am my favourite of the two H&M stores in town. I am the characters chattering in my head that I owe a story of their own.
 I am blindly holding on to life when I feel like it’s trying it’s best to let me go.
I am depressed. I am anxious. I am suicidal.
But I’m also so much more.

10 comments:

  1. this is beautiful xo

    Rebecca Claire, libfemblog.com

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  2. Beautifully written. Haunting, even. I hope things improve for you soon. And in the meantime come back to this post to remind yourself often that you are so much more than depression, anxiety. x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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  3. This is perfect <3
    I personally think you're great, and I see you constantly making big steps forwards even when you feel like you're going backwards. x

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  4. This gave me goosebumps and left me quite teary. You are worth SO MUCH. So so much, never lose faith in tomorrow xxx

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  5. This is such a beautiful post! It made be so really sad to read the first lines because you are such an amazing individual with so much much kindness and love! But I am equally so glad that you know you are more than your mental health problems. This shows you have so much strength, I know you can keep fighting you little solider! Xxx


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  6. A very beautiful post Lauren xx Thanks for sharing xx It's hard not to let illnesses define us and important to hold onto and remind ourselves of all the good around us. You're doing great lovely , hang on in there because good times are always just around the corner xx

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  7. You're also my favourite blogger. Here if you need me! <3

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  8. This is such a lovely written post Lauren and you really are something! Just remember to always love yourself even if the negatives are pulling you down hard at the time because you are lovely by your sister, boyfriend, parents, friends and your blogging community :) xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal

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  9. This was so lovely to read, Lauren! You certainly are all of these things and more. I'm an email away if you ever need a kind ear (:

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  10. This is a wonderful, wonderful post and something I need to read right now, so thank you. I've been signed off work the past couple of weeks thanks to my depression and it's been so tough, but this is a brilliant reminder. We are SO much more than this. Let's focus on the good bits xxx

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