June.

June was a busy ol' month for me, and I feel like I achieved a lot of things despite not setting any goals. I want to get back to creating goals and lists and generally keeping track of my life a little better so, along with another attempt at journaling, I've decided to talk a little on the blog about what I got up to this month.

I didn't get up to much for the first two weeks of the month, although I did take a little trip into town with my family. My little sister had another appointment at the hospital so Luke and I jumped in the car with her and my mum and we wandered around town whilst Leigh saw her consultant. I bought the new Lush bath bomb, Metamorphosis, and then we went to Primark so that Luke could get some weather-appropriate clothing. I made it a few hours before I began to get anxious and instead of going home, in my panic and confusion, I ended up walking all the way to my Dad's flat. It was a nice walk along the harbour and I had my earphones with me, and I met an adorable cat along the way. Despite the fear I felt, it was very re-assuring to know that my own legs could carry me away from my anxiety when I needed them to.

 

 

A few weeks later, Luke and I returned to Dad's flat - this time to stay. Dad went on holiday for two weeks so I spent a handful of days looking after his cat, Weller, whilst a friend cared for him the rest of the time. I had a wonderful time with Luke - we went out every day, even on the days I was depressed and when my IBS flared. We spent a lot of time on the local high street, cycling around the play park I visited often as a child and wandering along the harbour - as well as playing Cities: Skylines for the Xbox One and attempting to cool down with cold baths every morning.

We marvelled at hot air balloons hovering on the horizon in the evenings, hit lots of PokeStops on our walks and I took lots of photos on my big camera. One of the highlights of my stay was when I found bunches of white roses & peonies for £1 in the local supermarket. It's kick-started my love for peonies - I think I'll treat myself to another bunch soon.
  

When I got home I felt motivated, inspired and ready to put a little more effort into my 'normal' life. Do you ever feel like that after a holiday? Within three days of being home I'd bought a carpet (which my Mum later laid for me), painted the walls of my bedroom and finally found places for all of my knick-knacks. I'd had a horrid burgundy carpet in my room for the 7 years it's been mine (it was my brother's for 3 years before that) and it didn't fit right - too long in some places and too short in others - so having a lovely plush grey carpet feels so exciting. My bedroom is finally coming together! (And I'm still loving my Primark pineapple bedding!)

The days since have been a little more mundane and although I've certainly needed the rest and the calm, I've felt a little worse-for-wear. Good days come with a price, but it's always worth paying.

Next month I'm hoping to get back on top of things and to head outside a little more - but also to rest when I need to and to stop beating myself up when those days arise.

 

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