A Little Act of Bravery

{ Weekend diary; part two }

These days, I adhere to a very strict schedule when I'm out. Of course it's massively anxiety-driven and I probably shouldn't give in to it so often but sometimes writing down a minute-by-minute plan helps me step out of the front door. I've been using this coping technique more often than not over the past year, but on Saturday something happened: I went with the flow.


Allow me to explain a little. After our walk along the harbourside, Luke and I decided to hunt down some breakfast (for him - I don't eat out) and made our way to a place my Dad recommended. On our way there was passed a sign for the local garden centre & café. I made a little comment about how I'd always wanted to go there and Luke said maybe we should go there to eat instead of the other café. And easily, so wonderfully easily, I agreed. Granted, my chest began to tighten and my mind began to whir as we changed paths but I didn't change my mind, I didn't turn back.

The garden centre was actually rather adorable, and Luke ordered himself a veggie sausage sandwich and a cup of tea whilst I took some snaps of the place. The entire café menu is vegetarian (woo!) and they even had a vegan bread pudding and a gluten-free option on their little cake display. Soy milk for hot drinks is also available on request. The falafel wrap on their children's menu tempted me - maybe that's a challenge for next time!

The café décor was so pretty - lots of smooth wood and plants in pots and floral illustrations. I took the photos above whilst an old man looked on with disgust, but Luke had been drilling the phrase 'who cares?' into my mind over the weekend so I tried to ignore the man and his judgemental eyes.

 

I insisted we sit outside because it was ridiculously hot inside the little café, and I wandered around looking at the plants and flowers and trees whilst Luke ate. I was beginning to panic as I always do when food arrives, shackling me to the table, but taking the photos for this post helped, as did Luke's words of comfort and encouragement. Luke really rated his sausage sandwich (served on seeded bread and slathered in Heinz ketchup) which is pretty impressive considering he's quite the fan of 'real' sausage sandwiches.

Once he'd finished eating we headed inside to hunt down the succulents. I didn't end up buying any, but I did get Luke a little aloe. It was our 7th anniversary that day, so I gave it to him as a gift. In a funny twist of fate, he bought me a bunch of flowers so it turned out we both gave each other plant-related presents.

After we left the garden centre we could either turn left and walk back to Dad's flat along the main road, or we could take the scenic route through the park. The main road is the quickest way back, but I felt ready to push myself a little more so we wandered through the park, Luke clutching his new little succulent, me admiring the play-park I spent so many hours in as a child. (Tbh, I still visit it just to play on the swings sometimes. Shhh.)

When we got home I was exhausted in more ways than one, but I felt a little more like myself again.

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