The Lost Girl

I feel a little lost within myself right now.

Like I've been asleep for a year and I've finally woken up.

I always feel like this after a depressive period, and I have quite a few of them under my belt now. As it stands right now, there are two parts of me, struck directly down the middle by a column of heavy, unyielding darkness. There is pre-depression me, a twenty year old girl who still felt sixteen. And there is post-depression me, a twenty-two year old woman who doesn't love any of the things she remembers she's supposed to love. A girl who feels broken and unbroken, tired and energised. Books, nail varnish shades, albums, shoes: they no longer belong to me. They belong to her, the girl who used to be before the darkness swallowed her whole.

So what do I do? When that girl's belongings surround me? When her hair is growing from my scalp? When her favourite stories are stacked neatly on my bookcase?

I do what I always do: tear down what I hate and rebuild.

This is not my destruction. It is my re-birth.


  1. "This is not my destruction. It is my re-birth" is brilliant and exactly how I feel after a particularly bad stage. It's hard to remember who you are when the sadness isn't there, but it's still worth searching for. Wishing you all the best! xo

  2. This is beautiful! With destruction comes regrowth. I hope you are doing well Lauren! Sending lots of love! ♥

  3. What a beautifully written post! And I definitely feel like I can relate to this. Hope you're doing okay - sending positive thoughts! <3 x x


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